Discover your why

Motivation was my biggest fail of 2018. I just don’t know what happened, but I was so not motivated for fitness or even eating right. At the beginning of 2019, I told myself something has got to change. Something has got to give because continuing to do the same thing that I did in 2018 would only dig me into a deeper hole of dissatisfaction with myself and with life. I started thinking about motivation. Motivation is what drives others to do what they do. It is the reason why people go out there and conquer their greatest desires. So I started thinking about the word motivation and realized that there are so many reasons why I want to eat better and exercise more but I wanted to find my biggest why. What would really get me to make a change and stick to it. While looking over my list of reasons, I realized that there are both internal and external reasons why I want to do better in those areas.

Internal motivations are those reasons that are for the self, for you. How does whatever you want to change benefit you. I have found that when I participate in more physical activity or eat better, my self-esteem goes up, my anxiety goes down, and I can even sleep better. So my biggest internal motivation is health, physical and mental. I am tired of feeling sluggish and overtired. I’m tired of letting food control me. I like that feeling that I get when I finally lay down in my bed and my body feels relaxed. I don’t know if you are with me on this one but man I love soreness. It is a physical stimulus that lets me know that my muscles put in some work and it activates a lot of positivity in my brain!

External motivation is a little different. These reasons for doing something typically result in some form of reward such as money, an award, or just attention and encouragement from others. I love to help others. That is like a calling or something for me. So the reward that I get when I can be an inspiration or helpful in someway is everything to me. When I think of own personal external motivators, I think of my nieces and nephew. I think of my close friends and family. I think of all those people that are having a hard time accomplishing their goals. I think of the people that I serve at work that have had the worst life and cannot get started on just simple goals. And of course the biggest external reward is the girl I see in the mirror every day. The change in my body that occurs when I crush those goals. I see strength and I see accomplishment.

Currently, my motivation tank is sky high and I am totally digging it! I have friends who are just as fired up about trying to do better so that is helpful for me as well. I encourage all of you to dig deep in your soul and find your true why. That is the only way that you will be successful. Sit down, grab a cup of coffee or tea and write the word WHY in big letters on a blank sheet of paper. Then start putting down your reasons why. Then put that piece of paper on your mirror or somewhere you can see it everyday and fight. Fight hard to accomplish those goals. My biggest why is because I want to live the remaining years of my life in the best health I can be in. Also, I am 35 years old and just now highly considering conceiving sometime in the next year or two. I want to be healthy when I conceive and I want to be healthy afterwards so that I won’t feed my child nothing but fast food. Nothing against those that do that because that is your child and maybe that works for you and maybe that is all  you have been taught. I just want to do my life the way that I feel is better for me. Good luck everyone! Please comment and share your whys. Thank  you!

Self-love

quotes-about-self-loveFor the last couple of days I have been pondering on a few things that have kept coming to my mind without any true meaning. It wasn’t a complete thought. More so, like a lot of puzzle pieces that I couldn’t quite put together until I ran into this on the internet. It read, “Invest in your mind, invest in your health, invest in yourself”. This message was so powerful to me. Everything that has been going through my brain, my mind now makes perfect sense. I have been investing in others and not myself. Ouch. That hurt. Earlier today I posted something on Facebook about practicing honesty today and wow if this isn’t being honest with myself then I don’t know what is.

All my time and energy has been going to others. I have once again fallen prey to the pattern of putting others before me. I think to myself, if I don’t invest this much time with my partner, I will lose him. If I don’t spend time with my nieces, they will not call me their favorite aunt or #1 aunt. If I don’t spend time with my family, I am a terrible daughter or sister. It is always a fight to satisfy everyone and keep everyone happy. And sometimes that becomes overwhelming and frustrating.. Y’all, well-being is so important. I have had no energy. It is a drag to get up in the mornings. No desire to do anything after work except watch TV.  Putting on makeup is even a drag. I no longer meal prep, I no longer workout on a daily basis. I have started two whole books and can’t even finish them. Maybe, I am just doing too much of one thing. Regardless, I need to take a step back and analyze.

It looks like the culprit to starting 2019 like a snail is basically lack of self-love. I need to start investing more in myself and maybe just maybe if I do that, everything else will fall in its place. I am constantly worrying about what is going to happen with this situation or that situation. Being worried about it is not going to fix anything. I know that. So where to start…

So, a few years ago I did a date yourself challenge that I found on Facebook. Thinking back to what the woman that created that challenge had us do, made me think of ways that I can go back to working on me and doing things for myself. Quality time with yourself is very therapeutic. That whole week I pampered myself and oh my God. It was amazing. I should do that. Come up with some things that I can do for myself to bring myself back front and center of my life. I care about my loved ones and will include them in my life but it is time to set some boundaries that will keep all of us happy. I need to practice self-care and self-love. After all, we only get one life, right?

I will work on a list this weekend that consists of things I can do to practice self-love and will share it on here soon enough. I will start with maybe setting up a dinner date with my cousin who has been attempting to set something up with me for a couple of weeks now. Also, I have an update for the meal prepping entry I made the other day. I have come up with meals for next week and will be sharing those with you all after they are cooked and prepped. I also suggest that you involve a best friend or even your spouse or partner. That makes things sooo much easier. Plus you can make HIM do all the cooking. ha.ha. (just kidding). Happy Thursday! And please go do what I am about to start working on. Go love yourself already!