It is never too late to try again

December 27,2017 is the day that I took this photo. A year and almost a month ago. Sometime this afternoon, I decided that it would be a great idea to look back at photos saved on my phone and on Snapchat. I remember this day perfectly well. I was so happy and felt so accomplished. I had been working out so hard. In October of 2017 I had heard about an online training program that a dear friend of mine does and I made the decision to look into it. I really wanted a trainer that would come to the gym with me but my fiancés told me otherwise. I went online and checked out his program and immediately was drawn to it. It seemed doable and the price fit my budget just perfectly so I jumped on the opportunity.

When I messaged him, he answered promptly. He reassured me that he would help me and would answer any questions so that made it all so much easier for me to say yes! So I promptly told him that I would be willing to begin in November. I am going to be honest. At first I was overwhelmed. He sent me a workout plan for the whole month. It was basically do these 6 exercises every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Every day had its own target area. I remember Wednesday and Saturday were the days that I did not look forward to because you used your own body weight to accomplish them. And here I thought that the day I would have to do lunges would be the worst part. The plan looked intimidating but only because I had never had any real training before. After looking at the videos that he sent, I was like okay. Lets do this. I told myself, “I can do this”. The first two weeks were difficult but after a few weeks, it became easier. Another moment of honesty. I hated going to the gym for 6 days straight. It was hard. To go from working out 3-4 times a week, sometimes at that, it just was hard. I really think that what motivated me was the fact that I paid money for my training so I couldn’t let it go to waste. I just couldn’t. It would be like throwing money away in the trash. So I pushed through the struggles and hardships and after a couple of weeks it became a habit.

Funny moment. Thanksgiving and Christmas rolled around and I remember asking the gym about their holiday hours for those two holidays. I just couldn’t believe it. I remember thinking, why in the heck am I worried that the gym will be closed on Thanksgiving or Christmas Day!? I was like wow. I must be really dedicated. I worked out for two full months non-stop. I was dedicated. I was motivated. I was seeing results as you can see from the picture above. I was so happy. Then, of course, January rolled around. I swear, all of those people trying to workout at the beginning of the year really annoyed me. I would go into the gym and was literally having to wait around for weights. I would get so frustrated and my workout routines went from skipping one exercise to skipping complete days and then complete weeks and by February I was not working out very much anymore. And then to make matters worse, the AC compressor on my car went out. If you know anything about cars, you know that this is quite expensive. It cost me 1,000 + to replace. Then I did what I was fearing I would end up doing, I cancelled my online training. I messaged my dear trainer friend and told him what I had happened and ended services with him. I told him I would get back with him as soon as I could start again. It was the worst decision I could have ever made.

It has been 11 months or so now since that day and I regret ever quitting. Because I did. I quit. I have to accept that. I could have afforded it but I told myself that I couldn’t. I told myself that I couldn’t do it anymore. I had tons of excuses. I made tons of excuses. Reflecting and writing about it actually makes me sad. I keep wondering where I would be right now if I had not given up. If I would have just kept going. But see that is what happens. Sometimes life gets too hard and too complicated and we think that by not doing something for a couple of weeks or months that we can’t try again until its a new season. You just have to get up and try again. Don’t wait until you have a vacation or wedding coming up. Start now. So this is why I have decided today that I want to get back on track. This picture did it for me. I remember the feeling. I want that back. I am so glad that I looked back at pictures. It shows me my potential. It shows me that I can do it. Because I can. If you have a chance today, look over old pictures or even your journal. This might help you get back on track as well. Warning: be prepared for tears and for a new rush of hope.

I am 217 pounds right now and I only know this because I went to the doctor recently. Up until this week I was doing very little exercise. I would get myself in the gym about once a week and most of the time it was on a Monday and every Monday I would manage to convince myself that I was too busy the rest of the week to do any form of exercise. Today, I am on day two of week one. I feel better. I want to do better. I want to share with others the struggles. I want everyone out there that is battling with the motivation or strength to do it to know that you are not alone. There are so many of us out here in this world trying to get back on track with so much. You can do this! Lets go!

Food prep adventure

It was Friday and my anxiety started kicking in. I told myself, there is no way that I am going to do everything that I need to do in two days. No way. I even thought, maybe I planned too much. What if I start next week. I continued to tell myself, next week would be a better week because I don’t have much planned.  Then out of the corner of my eye, my brand new 2019 planner caught my eye. I looked over at my planner and right in the middle of the planner it read “BELIEVE” 2019. When I went searching for a planner, this is the exact reason I picked out. I felt that the word believe would be a great word to reflect on every time that I ran into a some problem with my goals or ambitions. I picked it as a form of reminder to myself that all I have to do is believe in myself and everything would work itself out. So I decided that I would believe in myself just a little and used all sorts of positive thoughts to get me through the weekend.

Today is Monday and guess what?! I have almost accomplished everything that I set my mind to do over the weekend. Okay so since I promised to provide an update of my food planning and prepping adventure, I am going to share some of what worked for me. So here we go.

  1. Clean out your refrigerator or pantry. If you remove the “bad” stuff like chips, cookies, and sodas, you remove the temptation. Once you do that, fill it up with more healthier snacks. Some healthy choices that I love are almonds, fruit, and healthy bars. If you buy fruit, take some time to cut it and put it baggies so that you can just grab and go. Your mind is used to going to what is easily accessible so guess what you are going to do?! You will grab that. I boiled some eggs and put them in zip lock baggies and today I ate two of them for my morning snack.
  2. Do not, I repeat, do not go to the grocery store on the day that you will do your cooking. It is not a good idea because you are piling up way too many things in one day. You will exhaust yourself. I told myself that I would go on Friday, two days before the prepping day, and then due to some things other things that needed my attention, I didn’t make it to the store as planned. Big mistake.
  3. Do yourself a favor and invest on some three compartment containers off of Amazon. Please do! I found some that work great. It makes things so much easier! Also, they serve as a constant reminder that you have to fill them up with food. Ah ha! They kept staring at me every time I walked by them so I knew I had to get that done by end of the weekend. Now time to be honest, I did not finish all of my cooking yesterday. As a matter of fact, I only prepped enough for two meals. But I am going to follow it up with more cooking today and tomorrow so it will get done. I will eat healthy meals every day this week. The goal for this week is no bread. No tortillas or chips the whole week. So I am pretty sure I will be in the worse mood come the weekend.
  4. Plan enough time for the meals you want to make and for cleaning. So set a time frame. For example write in your planner or schedule, from 3 pm-7 pm  I will cook and clean my kitchen. Oh, and don’t watch an awesome movie while doing so because lets just say, it might be a little distracting and three hours will quickly turn into five hours. haha.

Lastly, what I learned this weekend the most is that if you aren’t successful with everything as planned, give yourself some grace! Stop. Breathe and come up with an updated plan. Do what you can for that day and promise yourself you will do better next time. Tell yourself that you will accomplish everything even if it is in slow steps. Find the plan that works for you. That is the key to be successful. My prepping might consist of two or three days of cooking. For others, it might be better to do it all in one day. You have to start somewhere so just take the first step. Hope this helps! Thanks for reading! Good luck with your healthy eating goals for 2019!


quotes-about-self-loveFor the last couple of days I have been pondering on a few things that have kept coming to my mind without any true meaning. It wasn’t a complete thought. More so, like a lot of puzzle pieces that I couldn’t quite put together until I ran into this on the internet. It read, “Invest in your mind, invest in your health, invest in yourself”. This message was so powerful to me. Everything that has been going through my brain, my mind now makes perfect sense. I have been investing in others and not myself. Ouch. That hurt. Earlier today I posted something on Facebook about practicing honesty today and wow if this isn’t being honest with myself then I don’t know what is.

All my time and energy has been going to others. I have once again fallen prey to the pattern of putting others before me. I think to myself, if I don’t invest this much time with my partner, I will lose him. If I don’t spend time with my nieces, they will not call me their favorite aunt or #1 aunt. If I don’t spend time with my family, I am a terrible daughter or sister. It is always a fight to satisfy everyone and keep everyone happy. And sometimes that becomes overwhelming and frustrating.. Y’all, well-being is so important. I have had no energy. It is a drag to get up in the mornings. No desire to do anything after work except watch TV.  Putting on makeup is even a drag. I no longer meal prep, I no longer workout on a daily basis. I have started two whole books and can’t even finish them. Maybe, I am just doing too much of one thing. Regardless, I need to take a step back and analyze.

It looks like the culprit to starting 2019 like a snail is basically lack of self-love. I need to start investing more in myself and maybe just maybe if I do that, everything else will fall in its place. I am constantly worrying about what is going to happen with this situation or that situation. Being worried about it is not going to fix anything. I know that. So where to start…

So, a few years ago I did a date yourself challenge that I found on Facebook. Thinking back to what the woman that created that challenge had us do, made me think of ways that I can go back to working on me and doing things for myself. Quality time with yourself is very therapeutic. That whole week I pampered myself and oh my God. It was amazing. I should do that. Come up with some things that I can do for myself to bring myself back front and center of my life. I care about my loved ones and will include them in my life but it is time to set some boundaries that will keep all of us happy. I need to practice self-care and self-love. After all, we only get one life, right?

I will work on a list this weekend that consists of things I can do to practice self-love and will share it on here soon enough. I will start with maybe setting up a dinner date with my cousin who has been attempting to set something up with me for a couple of weeks now. Also, I have an update for the meal prepping entry I made the other day. I have come up with meals for next week and will be sharing those with you all after they are cooked and prepped. I also suggest that you involve a best friend or even your spouse or partner. That makes things sooo much easier. Plus you can make HIM do all the cooking. ha.ha. (just kidding). Happy Thursday! And please go do what I am about to start working on. Go love yourself already!

Meal planning. The devil or what!?

So today I found myself at a little cozy sandwich shop for my lunch hour. I opted for the club sandwich which is not as bad as my typical greasy pizza or taco lunch but still. Y’all I have to get with the program! Like seriously. When you fail to prep for the week it just makes it that much easier to go with the simple fast food option. So what to do!? Ah! Meal plan of course but how do I accomplish it without quitting even before I get to the store. Because that is literally what happens to me. Suggestions are needed and will be greatly appreciated.

You should first know that I hate cooking which makes this whole thing even a greater pain. It is just not my cup of tea. And I have a whole list of reasons and excuses for why I don’t do it but man I am starting to get frustrated with myself. And please don’t assume it’s laziness because it is not. Yup, I have heard that numerous of times. Let me explain myself in a different way. You know how you people who decide on not going to college say “school is just not for me”? Well that is the way I feel about cooking. So if you can use that lame excuse then I should be able to use “cooking is just not for me”. Right? Trust me guys. I want to be that cook that you see in movies. Dancing around and singing all the while cooking up a delicious meal for her wonderful husband and cute sweet kids. But it just isn’t me. Strangely, I do want to change it. Why? Because I do want to eat healthier and if and when I decide to have a child, I would like to feed that child a yummy healthy meal. Yes, believe it or not.

Okay so let me tell you what I have done so far to attempt the whole prepping ordeal. I’ve done the Pinterest thing. I have looked up low carb healthy meals, saved them  and bam. That is as far as I got. I have gone to the grocery store and replaced a lot of my bad foods with good foods and guess what happens with that? The good food goes bad. Because I only cooked half of what I bought. then there is the whole thing that the food just doesn’t taste the same after a few days. How do people that meal prep do that. Eat old food. Ewww. What am I doing wrong?! Why oh why does cooking have to be so tedious for me. So how do I change that? How do I move past this whatever this is.

I saw something earlier today while reading another blog or something else about a meal journal. This meal journal is basically a documentation of what you will eat Monday-Friday for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I wonder if this would be too much work to put together.  I’m gonna give it a try. So I’ll commit to that. I’ll start a food journal and document what I plan on cooking for next week. Then I’ll go buy all the required groceries on Friday of this week so they will be ready to cook over the weekend. Okay guys I have a plan! Let’s see how it goes. Please drop any suggestions you may have to help me on this journey of trying to eat better and actually learning how to cook. I still believe meal planning is the devil! Ugh! Wish me luck! Oh and by the way, I only ate half of my sandwich today. Does that make it healthier!? I hope so! Happy Tuesday!

Get up and try again

Happy Monday! So today is THE day. The day that I am supposed to be back on track with everything. My hair is supposed to be at a 100%. I should be sporting a face full of make-up. I should be on my A game at work. I was supposed to have a great breakfast. I was supposed to have a great healthy lunch (well this actually did happen), and I am supposed to go workout after work. Now. Ask me how many of those things I actually did accomplish. One. So far. One.

My typical self would just totally throw the towel in and say, bye. I will start again next week. Frist of all, let me tell you, I am a perfectionist and not just any perfectionist. I am the type that if I do not do exactly as I told myself that I would do, I just give up. I throw a big pity party and say to you know what with it. Oh yeah, and I tell myself that I suck. At everything. At life. But not today. Today, I am telling myself, tomorrow is another day. Get up and try again. Okay so to be fair, the day is not over yet so I can still accomplish a lot more but I have way too much going on today. It is my mom’s and my niece’s birthday. So most of my evening will be spent at a restaurant, celebrating. And eating cake. Oh. God. Please. Help. Me.

I want to be one of those girls that just seem to have it all together, you know? The ones that have a full face of makeup all the time. Their hair never looks rough. Oh and they jog, eat good, do everything just right. Or at least it seems that way. Where is my motivation to do all of that. Where?! Sometimes I wish there was just a simple solution. Can someone please invent a simple solution. Just kidding. I know that in order to see results, you have to put in the work. So that is what I need to figure out within the next couple of days. Something to get me moving. My motivation. What will it be? So tomorrow I will drag myself to the gym. I will drag myself to the gym at least three times this week. There. It is on paper now. It is in front of everyone to see. I am committed for this week.

Readers, if you are like me. You are probably more common than what you think. A lot of us battle with so many things. I know people say, well if you aren’t doing it then how do you expect results. Or they call us lazy. But sometimes it is not that. Sometimes there are underlying issues. Congrats to all of those who have battled those issues and won! That is awesome. But some of us are still out here battling and sometimes we lose way too many times that we just give up or we tell ourselves that no matter how hard we try, it will never happen. I am here to tell you that you can do this! Whatever you are having trouble starting, you will eventually get there. Small steps. That is what is important. Start somewhere. Do something about it. That is the first step.

Today I ate a healthy lunch. Yay me! Tomorrow I will do the same thing but add a physical activity for 30 minutes. Tomorrow I will fix my hair. But first of all, I will get a good nights rest. Because I need it. Thank you for stopping by! Have a happy Monday!


New year, new me? Not.

Sooo 2019. It is here! And I already have no idea what I am doing. I said I would start eating “clean” on January 1st. I said that I would start going to the gym last week and it didn’t happen. I started feeling so embarrassed and like a complete failure but then I snapped out of it and told myself that I couldn’t change the past but I could definitely still do something to change it. So, today’s current plan is to start on Monday of next week. I assure you that I will give you an update whether it is good or bad. So back to 2019 and what the new year will bring for me. I hope to be making some big moves this year. A new car and maybe a new place are in the near future! Have you ever seen the movie “love actually”? I literally “feel” it in my fingers. Big moves. This blog is exactly for that. To document my successes and my struggles for 2019! One of my biggest goals this year is to travel more. To see more places and to do more things that I have never done before. I want to go ice-skating, I want to visit the grand canyon. I want to go to Vegas. I want to do so many things. I want to live life. And that is what I will conclude this entry with. If you aren’t living, you literally are not “living”.

Recently I heard an elderly person talk about their regrets and the things they would do differently if they could. He said. I would live every day as if it was my last. I would experience things. Do things. Live. That is what I want and what I am in search of. My journey is to do those things that make my heart skip a beat. Simple things like a walk in the park or spending time with a loved one. That is what life is about. So go out there and live! Dance as if no one is watching. Sing in the car. Just do what makes you happy.

Fill your life with experiences, with things that set your soul on fire